Adding to the enormous list of victims of the September 11^th terrorist attacks is the world's children - those whose lives were not affected directly, but who have been alarmed by what they have seen and heard in their homes and schools. They have seen their worried and frantic parents and teachers, and they may have experienced cancellations of plans or events they had long anticipated. But they are most likely to have experienced much of this trauma through their exposure to the mass media. Of course, it is pointless and even ill-advised to suggest that they might be kept entirely ignorant of what has happened and what will happen in the future as this new phase of the history of our planet unfolds. However, parents and teachers can minimize the harm by understanding their children's vulnerabilities and the specific needs they have in these tragic and terrifying times.

In my book, "Mommy, I'm Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, I have a chapter titled "When Reality is a Nightmare: All the News that's Fit to Terrify." Many children have been profoundly terrorized by televised coverage of horrific news events, from the Vietnam War to the Oklahoma City bombing, to devastating natural disasters to child molestation and murder, and most recently, to the massacre at Columbine High School. The September 11 terrorist attacks constitute perhaps the most devastating single news story that television has ever disseminated. Although these events affect all of us in a variety of ways, there are many things we can do protect our children from being traumatized by the news coverage.

Limit children's exposure to TV - How TV communicates about these events is horrifying for children. Make interpersonal communication the main way they learn about what has happened and about the ongoing events that unfold as the world responds to these attacks.

Be there for your children - Give your children extra attention and warmth at this time. Answer their questions; be as reassuring as possible; your calming presence and caring attention are what they need most.

Recognize that children of different ages have different needs at this time.

In my book, I explain how children of different ages see and interpret television differently, and I discuss why this fact is important in understanding how to keep them healthy and happy in these media-saturated times. I am summarizing some of my points here, paying specific attention to different age groups.

OUR YOUNGEST CHILDREN (Birth through 6 years): For this group, "seeing is believing" - vivid visual images and startling, emotional sounds affect them the most. To them, whatever they see on television is real, and it is happening while they are watching. What will upset them the most are visual images of dead bodies or bloodied survivors and crying or screaming victims or witnesses. And if the images from September 11^th are replayed again and again, the events will seem to be happening again and again. Preschoolers will be less likely to be upset by a building collapse or by the commentary of announcers. They are unlikely to grasp the enormity of the tragedy. But gruesome images and horrified emotional expressions will unsettle them the most. The fearful reactions of their loved ones will also disturb them.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN (Age 7 to 12): These children will have a more concrete understanding of the situation. They will understand that innocent people were killed and they will be particularly sensitive to whether any children were hurt and to the fact that many children lost their parents in the tragedy. They are unlikely to understand the nature of the terrorist threat and the difficult issues surrounding our response, but they will be most concerned about their own and their family's current and continuing safety.

TEENAGERS AND BEYOND (age 13 and up): These children will be horrified by the same things as younger children, but in addition, they will be anxious about what this attack means for the future in terms of our personal safety and our day-to-day lives. They will be seeking answers to the question of "why?" and will also be searching for solutions that will permit us to return to the lives we knew before September 11^th.

Limit exposure to TV - This means any channel that provides updates on the tragedy, the investigation, and the nation's military buildup and response. Don't let your children stumble into something horrifying. Don't leave the TV on . . . Find a way to get your own updates without subjecting your children to the news. You yourself will cope better if you limit your own exposure, and if you are obsessing about the tragedy, your children will sense it and become more anxious themselves.

[Note. - I was stranded at La Guardia airport in New York when the terrorist attacks occurred. Fortunately, a lovely family took me into their home and sheltered me until I could travel to stay with family members in the New York area. In their home that day were three children under the age of five. Of course we needed to keep up with the unfolding events on Tuesday. Our solution? We kept the TV on without the sound so we could read the updates as they scrolled by at the bottom of the screen. The adults kept the children happily occupied by batting balloons around the living room with them. The children were too young to grasp the situation, and we didn't drag them through the terror and grief we were feeling.]

Children will undoubtedly have worried questions about these tragedies, and you may be at a loss as to how to handle them. Keep in mind that they are turning to you mainly for reassurance. You of course should not lie to them, but you can be most helpful by finding the most reassuring way to phrase your answers. Your conversations about the terrorist attacks should be tailored to the age and comprehension capabilities of your child. As I argued in my book, what works best for children in situations like this is the calm, unequivocal, limited truth. Say just enough so your response makes sense to them. Don't feel that you have to inform them about all the other things that might have happened or that still could happen.

Don't give them any more than they're asking for or more than they need to know. Stress, in any way that you can, the fact that they and your family and friends are safe now; that there are good reasons why what happened before won't happen again (after all, we're certainly on the alert now); why something like that wouldn't happen near you; why we would have a warning and could protect ourselves the next time - not all of these things, of course, but whichever seems to be the most reassuring. Even if you yourself are horrified or worried, there is no advantage in having your child traumatized, miserable, and unable to sleep. There are no protective measures your child can take - what your child needs most is a way to feel secure.

Don't forget to stress the good that has come out of this tragedy: Children will enjoy hearing about how strangers have helped strangers, how there have been overwhelming donations of money and blood to aid the victims, how firefighters and traveled to New York from distant places, and how there is a new spirit of community in our country. There is great cause for optimism about the strength of the human spirit even in the depths of this tragedy.

Whatever you do, don't bring breaking news of events like this into the classroom even though it may be tempting to have your students "live history." This happened in many schools during the Columbine tragedy, and it happened with this catastrophe as well. Children need not and should not be dragged through such cataclysmic events in "real time." Television, with its emphasis on speed and sensationalism, will provide the worst-case scenario for informing children. If it seems appropriate or necessary to provide children with updates or announcements, these should be presented in words and in a calm, non-sensational manner that satisfies their information needs without adding to the trauma.

Television: Make exposure to the upsetting content predictable. If you must interrupt scheduled programming with breaking news, don't do it with sirens and screams and vivid visual images; give parents time to change the channel, mute the sound, or get the children out of the room.

Restrain your instinct to repeat and repeat those same sensational images - none of us need to see them again. Realize that for young children, you are showing them what they will experience as yet another attack. Even non-news programming somehow hasn't been able to keep away from these images. On September 18^th, one week after the attacks, my 12-year-old son was finally able to tune into some sports results on ESPN News. And what greeted him at the opening of the show? Some of the most terrifying and shocking footage of screaming victims fleeing the crumbling wreckage of collapsing buildings. This was an outrageous production decision and an extremely insensitive and unfair way to welcome young viewers back to the "normal" world of sports programming.

Newspapers : Keep your images of bloodied victims off the front page! The fourteen-year-old daughter in the family I was staying with was handling the events quite calmly. Then, Wednesday morning, she was caught off guard when she caught a glimpse of the front page of The New York Times and was suddenly confronted with a color photo of one of the injured victims, covered with blood. Surely this image could have been on one of the inside pages!

Parents: - Speak out and let the media know how you feel about the coverage. The media, of course, want the widest possible audience for their advertisers, but they are also sensitive to complaints.

or "Mommy, I'm Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children
and What We Can Do to Protect Them. (Harvest/Harcourt, 1998).

Teddy's TV Troubles, a children's book to help in coping with fears (Goblin Fern Press, 2004).